Lancaster Child Custody Lawyer Shares 5 Common Mistakes

Child custody proceedings can be an emotional process. The thought of losing time with your children can make you frustrated and scared. However, your actions will be closely evaluated, so it’s more important than ever to keep your cool and stay calm. Show your children and the courts that you are a dependable, level-headed parent.

Robert M. Going, Jr. is a child custody attorney with over 30 years of experience in custody cases in Lancaster County and throughout Central Pennsylvania. We asked Bob to share some of the most common mistakes parents make during child custody proceedings.

5 Common Child Custody Mistakes

by Robert M. Going, Jr.

Robert-Going-Plank-Attorney-CustodyI really enjoy practicing family law in Lancaster County. It’s important to me to help families through tough times, and I try to be the kind of attorney who is compassionate and caring. After all, when you’re dealing with the custody of your children, you don’t w­­ant to talk to a lawyer who is rushed, or who isn’t completely focused on you and your situation.

If you’re getting divorced or getting ready to determine child custody, you may have to fight through some tough emotions. While you may be tempted to give into a temper or make life tough for your spouse, that approach might actually backfire in the long-run. Sometimes good people let a bad situation get the better of them. But if you know the consequences of your actions, you may be able to make better decisions. That’s why I was happy to put together this list of the five most common mistakes people make in when dealing with child custody proceedings.

Child Custody Mistake: Being the One Who Walks Out of Your Martial Home

Every situation is different, but if you can be the one to stay in your home with your children, you may increase your odds of getting a more favorable custody ruling in Pennsylvania. Of course, if you or your children are unsafe, seek a Protection From Abuse (PFA) order right away. But if abuse is not a factor, staying in your home with your children often helps your custody case. If you must leave, try to do it quietly, respectfully, and without drama. Keep the emotional well-being of your children in mind. While cases vary, some judges prefer to keep the children in their current home with the parent who is residing in that home. Other judges will question the commitment of a parent who leaves abruptly, dramatically, or without consideration to the emotional well-being of their children.

Child Custody Mistake: Not Respecting the Rules

Temporary interim custody orders are often issued in Pennsylvania at the onset of a divorce or paternity action. That means you’ll have to abide by these orders until your official custody hearing is held. While the restrictions of shared custody can be difficult, even heart-breaking, you must follow these interim custody orders to the letter. Some parents are tempted to break the rules and take their children on outings without telling the other parent. Even if you’re just taking the children on a short trip to the park, or if you keep them an hour longer than permitted, you’re disobeying court orders. Custody judges are evaluating your ability to respect the other parent and the court itself. Violating the terms of custody, even just a little, may result in being assigned less visitation time, or even arrest. While following the court-assigned custody orders may be difficult in the short-term, it could help you gain more time with your children in the long-term.

Child Custody Mistake: Posting on Social Media

Social media has become such an accepted part of our lives that it’s sometimes easy to forget that what you say and show on social media can be shared with anyone. That’s why, during a divorce and throughout the child custody process, it’s important to be as respectful and responsible on social media as you would be in the courtroom. It’s almost always a bad idea to share rants about your spouse. It’s can also be harmful to share posts about how well you’re doing, showing yourself intoxicated, or showing yourself in a new relationship. Posting anything that could be seen as hurtful to your children or that portrays you as a less-than-ideal parent, even when you’re away from your children, can be used against you in court. Remember that, in Pennsylvania, social media posts can be used as evidence that you are an unfit parent. Sometimes your posts will be used intentionally out-of-context. Play it safe, and keep your social media posts very conservative.

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Child Custody Mistake: Refusing to Co-Parent

Divorces are rarely easy, and some parents will find it challenging to communicate calmly and rationally after a divorce. However, the Pennsylvania courts usually favor parents who place the welfare of their children above their own feelings. If parents can’t agree on joint legal custody, then a judge may favor the parent who has consistently made good-faith efforts to co-parent. The courts rarely favor the parent who refuses to communicate or the parent who is repeatedly angry, insulting, or unavailable. Custody judges tend to side with parents who make sincere efforts to be reasonable and cooperative. To improve your odds in a custody case, once you’ve decided to divorce, try to shift your focus away from the spouse towards the well-being of your children. Working with your spouse to provide the best life for your kids will not only impress the courts, it may make the process easier for your children.

Child Custody Mistake: Assuming Your Parenting Skills Will be Accurately Evaluated

In many divorce cases, one party may believe they are clearly the better parent. They think they will have no issues getting a fair custody ruling. However, child custody proceedings in Pennsylvania are not always straightforward. Even amicable divorces can become contentious when child custody is involved, and if your spouse retains a lawyer, they may gain an unfair advantage. Many parents are heartbroken when they realize their spouse has hired a custody attorney that portrays them as an unfit parent. Don’t be surprised by unfair evaluations. Hire a child custody attorney to protect your reputation and help you fight for your custody rights.

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Parents in Lancaster County and throughout Central Pennsylvania have relied on Going and Plank to help them successfully navigate the child custody process since 1956. Robert M. Going, Jr. has been practicing family law in Lancaster County for over 30 years. If you want to talk to a child custody expert, contact us at The Law Offices of Going and Plank today and schedule your consultation.

Do I Need a Lawyer to File for Divorce in Pennsylvania?

Do I Need a Lawyer to File for Divorce in Pennsylvania?

Last year there were 73,304 marriages and 32,777 divorces in Pennsylvania. While the population of Pennsylvania continues to grow, the number of marriages and divorces is in decline. But one statistic seems to stay the same – about half of all marriages end in divorce. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania does not require citizens to hire a lawyer to get a divorce. You can get paperwork at your county courthouse or online, and government websites outline the process.

DIY Divorces Are Risky

There is no margin for error in the divorce process in Pennsylvania, and PA government websites clearly warn that if you choose to complete your own divorce paperwork, your information must be correct. For anyone who decides to file for divorce without the assistance of a lawyer, it’s critical to spend extra time with each form and make sure you fully understand every part of the process.

Pennsylvania law does not allow courthouse staff to answer questions that could be construed as requests for legal advice, and the law does not provide exceptions for people who did not understand the process or the legal terms involved. If you make a mistake in your divorce paperwork or if you fail to raise a claim for alimony, the division of property, or a claim for your spouse to cover legal fees or filing expenses in your divorce complaint, you will lose your rights to make those claims once the divorce decree is entered.

Using a Lawyer as a Consultant

If you’re thinking of filing on your own, and don’t need a lawyer to do everything for you, it may still make sense to consult with an attorney to discuss the process. The divorce attorney at Going and Plank often consults with divorce candidates at the beginning of the process to help them think through their options and map out a plan that makes sense for their situation. Some people complete and file the paperwork, asking Going and Plank to review it for errors or omissions before submitting it to the court.

Some divorce clients find that, after talking with a divorce lawyer, there are financial or support considerations that they had overlooked. Even in amicable divorces, many couples fail to consider retirement funds, life insurance policies, credit cards and any debt associated with those cards, college savings plans, inheritances, and other long-term, financial planning considerations.

Other clients discover that they know very little about their spouse’s finances. If your spouse makes more money than you or handles the money and bank accounts, you may not be fully aware of how or where assets are organized. While many spouses appear accommodating, it’s not uncommon to discover that your spouse has been selling or transferring assets without your knowledge. It’s also possible that your spouse has established checking, insurance, or brokerage accounts without your knowledge. If you suspect this behavior, Going and Plank can help you locate and value these assets.

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When to Rely on a Good Divorce Lawyer

Many couples start the divorce proceedings with good intentions. They seem to agree on most matters, and the process seems straightforward and manageable. However, as the divorce process continues, and the details of their initial divorce agreements become clear, some couples find lawyers are necessary. What value does a good divorce lawyer add to uncontested divorces?

Sound Advice on Divorce Issues

Going and Plank can help you identify and remedy issues that many spouses overlook. We can help you assess and inventory assets, including investments, brokerage accounts, retirement funds, life insurance, and even social security payments. Our divorce lawyer will advise you on the equitable distribution of property.

Confidence

The divorce process in Pennsylvania can feel overwhelming, and the courts warn self-filers that they are responsible for their own errors. When you hire a good divorce lawyer, you’ll know that your attorney is making sure all paperwork is filed properly. Hiring a lawyer from Going and Plank can help you avoid costly mistakes.

Legal Clarity for Your Divorce Filing

The language you use in your divorce filings is important. If the court doesn’t understand the intent of your request, you may not get the results you desire. Our experienced divorce lawyer creates clear, concise documents, written in the language of the court, that ensures your wishes will be accurately reflected.

Expediency

DIY divorce filers often experience delays because of issues with the paperwork. When you use a good divorce attorney from Going and Plank, we make sure your paperwork is in order and help avoid delays and rescheduling.

Divorce Advocacy

Many divorces start out amicable and then devolve into divorce battles. Well-meaning spouses are often surprised and hurt when partners demand new terms, altered custody agreements, or changes in the division of property. A good divorce attorney will help you map out all considerations, and help you identify potential issues upfront. While our divorce attorney can’t promise a painless divorce, we can handle all legal and filing considerations, ensure all assets are identified, and help negotiate custody and support agreements that protect your interests.

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Going and Plank has been providing family law attorneys to the residents of Lancaster County and Central Pennsylvania since 1956. Robert M. Going, Jr. is a partner with over 30 years of experience as a divorce attorney. If you would like to talk about hiring Going and Plank to help with your divorce filing, contact us today to schedule an appointment.

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